Safety Expert In Disguise Gifts

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Baby on board.

On the brink.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"I see you've security marked your property."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

AI Safety Officer

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'