Safe Space Advocate Pillows

'We demand fake history.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Boozing and Cruising

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'Whoa, wait! Don't pull him out! He's plugging the hole!'

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."