Safaris Pillows

"I give up. What's black and white and red all over?"

'Hop in - I think we're going to get a push.'

"Looks to be some kind of menu."

'It says, 'Get back on the tour bus'.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

'You looking for me?'

Exotic Petting Zoo and A Dog.

'Dysentery or non-dysentery section?'

'Keep driving - we can't open the doors anyway!'

"I have such bad luck. What could be worse than being born without a trunk?"

'All I can tell you is they're not the cute little birds who usually ride around on us.'

'This is the last time I sign up for your economy elephant hunt!'

Bird watchers.

Two taxidermists are confronted with a dead elephant - 'We're going to need some overtime for this one...'

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

'Best retriever I've ever had!'

"I think you've taken the garden rewilding a bit too far."

'At least he won't eat us.'

"Yes, 'the lion sleeps tonight', I know the tune, but it means it's had a good feed during the day, which is not really a good thing..."

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

'You only want to do it when people are watching.'

"He had his binoculars back to front!"

'I know it's politically incorrect, but God, I hated that rhino!'

Lend me a fiver - "Careful Dempster, this swamp is crawling with leeches."

"By hunting a species to the edge of extinction it becomes more valuable, and we make more money by hunting it."

Hunter Preserve

'If I may, sir, the ecotourist is superb.'

'I stepped on a rhinoceros.'

"Junk-food wrappers, empty soft-drink bottles, this shows we're very likely tracking a prey that is unfit: easy to catch..."

"You simply must tell me about that African Vacation you took!"

"Come on, be a sport, run fast! I actually enjoy the thrill of the chase more than the killing itself..."

'I just washed my mane and I can't do anything with it.'

His newly found confidence was short lived.