Safari Tour Guide T-Shirts

'Nasty, right to the end!'

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

Safari.

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

Mo's Meet The Predators Safari Tours.

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'Hey Babe - 7:30 sharp, don't be late...I'm preparing you a meal...'

"Leonard! Throw me the car keys!"

Safari tourists surrounded by lions following a 4x4 car crash.

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

"And that's why you go on safari."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'Hey, don't worry about letting the gazelle escape, we'll find something else to eat for dinner.'

"Yeah, I just decided to ease out of the fast lane for awhile."

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

"At first I was a bit worried about the comeback of wolves in Europe. But I must admit that they had adapted well to living together with humans!"

"Yes, 'the lion sleeps tonight', I know the tune, but it means it's had a good feed during the day, which is not really a good thing..."

'Don't move, there's a bee on your back.'

"Wow, these are great cartoons! We have to let them go, and anyway, cartoonists are on the endangered species list..."

'Okay wait. Screaming and failing is for large cats...'

'Dirty binoculars?! You mean I wasted 30 years studying what I thought was the rare spotted rhino?'

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

Will Kill For Food

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

"That one killed my manservant, it fell on his head while he was vacuuming the carpet."

The packaging's becoming excessive.

Leopards do change their spots

'Hold it - someone's filming this without permission!'

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

'Oh, oh - it's on page one.'