Sacrificer In Spirit Pillows

'Every Lent it's the same-I've nothing to give up!'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

Retrospection.

"I've given blood about 20 times. . ."

Avoiding eternal damnation since 1982

If Peter had only interpreted Jesus' words literally...

"I'm not doing this because I like it. I'm doing this because I love you."

Insurance Company representative with rabbi to lawyer and client: 'I brought hiim along to assure you we would negotiate in good faith.'

Liberty's Sacrifice

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

Praying.

'No thanks: I'm more of a sprinter than a jogger...'

A man seeking wisdom from a bee at the top of a mountain

Water carriers/bearers.

"Poke my bunny with a stick, sir?"

I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest. Very good, little buddy. I see you've read chapter 7 of "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper. I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed.

Pray now - Go later.

Covid-19 Vaccine

"Big issue...yeah, whatever...big issue....yeah, whatever....."

'Of all the useless things: They're killing our babies to make fashionable fur coats!'

"Before long you'll be qualified and ready to start work."

'Dang, I told him to take a shower before we sacrificed him to the volcano god!'

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

Gandhi

'Your heart is bigger than the average human heart. That's because you're an animal rights activist.'

'If it has to be animal testing - get into cosmetics.'

"It's the animal liberation front - they're claiming irresponsibility."

Leaf Firemen Catching Falling Leaf.

'I sold enough of my blood to keep our website up for another week. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pass out.'

It's just a game vs. get real.

Wait 'till the tide comes in...

Boy with a black eye and concerned lady