Sacrifice Ponderer Pillows

'I couldn't decide what to give up for Lent, so I gave it all up.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

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'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Confusionism'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Jesus wept

"How long has he been missing?"

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Soren Kierkegaard

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

Various Birds of Pray.

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

Thomas Aquinas

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

Hunter haunted by Bunnies.

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"