Sacred Satire Seeker T-Shirts

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

"I thought you might like to have a merrier brain for the new millennium!"

'Not now, Lord!'

"Uh oh! I just remembered we were supposed to pick up the midwife."

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

"Is there anybody there?"

Divinity School - Authorized Parsons Only

Angel learning to fly...

"Two bars—how about you?"

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

"Hi. I'm Rod. And this is my staff."