Russian Novel Enthusiast Gifts

"I only read half of it."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

Victor Hugo

First Novels.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

Television Readers.

"Now I really hate poetry."

Blue Stockings

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Voltaire

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

John Bunyan

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Silence of the Chickens...

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Don Quixote

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Author does not do tricks."

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''