Rural Joke Collector Pillows

'Who needs apps?'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Suffering from Cooties?

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Useless add-ons.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

I fart more than that!

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Cheating Death.

My daddy ate my homework

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

Shark infested custard!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

A Venus cow trap.

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.