Rulebook Buff Pillows

"The rules clearly state, 'it takes two to tango'."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Mam? What's love juice?"

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

No hitting below the belt!

Legal? Big-shoed clown prepares to kick field goal.

"Offside? By a fingertip? It's football not handball!"

'You'll like it here...it's one of the rules.'

Attorneys at law.

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

James Naismith

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

'Well, no, I can't seem to find a rule forbidding this, but I still don't think it's legal.'

"Holding superstar quarterback accountable—token penalty after the kickoff."

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'

'You're right, there's nothing in the rules against it.'