Rule Book Lawyer Gifts

'That book is the real hazard!'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

"Offside? By a fingertip? It's football not handball!"

No hitting below the belt!

Legal? Big-shoed clown prepares to kick field goal.

'You'll like it here...it's one of the rules.'

"We have all kinds of Regulatory Guidelines floating around."

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

James Naismith

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

Attorneys at law.

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

'Well, no, I can't seem to find a rule forbidding this, but I still don't think it's legal.'

'You're right, there's nothing in the rules against it.'

"Holding superstar quarterback accountable—token penalty after the kickoff."

'Have you hammered out the new rule book yet?'

"He's got whistleblower written all over him."