Rulebook Rebel Gifts

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'You'll like it here...it's one of the rules.'

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

'We're throwing out the old rules.'

'You know the rule, Billy. Get two technical fouls in a school day and you are expelled.'

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

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"How come I get TWO yellow cards?"

'You're right, there's nothing in the rules against it.'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"Offside? By a fingertip? It's football not handball!"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

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'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

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"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'Oops! Looks like I've broken every rule in the book.'

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