Royalty Relisher Gifts

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Can our software do that?'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

"I say we move on to dessert."

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

My own museum.

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Yeah, right, like Superman was the only flavor they had. Ice cream.

'I'll just grab a coffee...'

Summon King Henry's bugle teacher! Bring on the Tudor Tooter Tutor!

"It's a bit of a 'fixer upper'. You just have to chop down the forest, obtain planning permission, and build the house."

'I'm writing a poem -- what rhymes with 'hegemony'?'

"You just put it in the slot - you don't to push the 'send' key!"

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

'I think you'd better cut that guy off'

"Genuine? Of course it's genuine...zirconia."

No Smoking in the Castle

"The first one depicts our sales compared to Snedly Electronics, and the second one depicts the speed of our corporate jet compared to Snedly's."

Nobility Scooter

"I've decided to take on a more ambassadorial role, here are some leaflets on the importance of humour within the workplace..."

That's Tivo. He'll hang around in case you miss a joke and want it told later.

"Trust me, princess...fairytale endings aren't all they're cracked up to be!"

"My entire day has been like this!"

'And as a committed Royalist you'd be witnessing this historic event at Westminster Abbey.... or the King's Head.'

Road ends.

Dinner at the Palace

Toilet inside a coffin.

'Celebrating the Golden Jubilee? Goodness no - he's still celebrating the Silver one!'

'I've decided to commute his sentence - just give him a noogie.'

'Hey, don't bother me about the rioting in Cardiff -- talk to the Prince of Wales, there.'

"Poureth no more - My cup runneth over!"

'I can't do anything about the poor getting poorer, but I'll be glad to keep the rich from getting richer!'