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BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

'Is it true? -- Did you slap a tariff on mother?'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

Canute Does It Again

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

"The Queen is somewhere in the snuggery!"

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

Richard III found buried under Leicester car park.

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"It is not you. It is we."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

Joke of a lover

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'And he thinks he's the most powerful being in the land.'

'We got a Christmas card from King Sverdglink of Lithuania -- when did HE get Christianized?'

"That's kingsize?"