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'Actually, he hates having a beard †he just doesn't trust anybody to shave him.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

King reaching for an apple

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

"It is not you. It is we."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

"That's kingsize?"

Joke of a lover

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'I'll show you my hidden agenda if you'll show me yours.'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'