Royalty Devotees Gifts

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A MEGALOMANIAC TO WORK HERE, BUT IT SURE DOES HELP!

Great Chinese Dynasties

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

Czarcasm

'How about a game of cards?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"She wishes to range free!"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Not here - home!'

The Frog Prince

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

Princess Anne

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'I screwed up royally!'