Royalty Counter Gifts

'You can just forget about the cake.'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

A king and his paperwork.

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

'They're all hoping Kate Middleton will help them to cross the road.'

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

Entry level astronomer...

Anarchy/Monarchy.

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

'To be or not to be . . . contingent on royal funding.'

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

'This next song is for my ex-wife, because she owns it and collects all the royalties.'

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'Now that's an afro!'

'Have a nice summit conference -- don't destabilize anything.'

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

Question now is who needs an old corgi who can curtsy and walk backwards out the door.

'We had a full and frank exchange of views.'

'Of course I'm worried. I heard that the legs are the first things to go.'

'You can't keep blaming everything on the Mongol hordes.'

"Open up for the cleaning crew."

'Bosnia, Serbia, Macedonia, Kosovo, South Ossetia -- Sooner or later, they're going to notice us here in Luxembourg.'

"I don't mind his p***s always being out. I do find his relentless suppression of the peasants a bit unseemly."

A man stranded in the desert watches a king crawl by on a red carpet

'It's an interesting idea, but increased literacy could lead to a free press.'

Prince turns into a frog due to a short spell in Britain.

"That was a good two weeks of watching America dominate the Olympics and not seeing anything else on TV."