Royalty Counter Gifts

Books. Harry Potter and the Huge Pile of Royalties.

'You can just forget about the cake.'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

A king and his paperwork.

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

'They're all hoping Kate Middleton will help them to cross the road.'

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

Entry level astronomer...

Royal Variety

Anarchy/Monarchy.

'This next song is for my ex-wife, because she owns it and collects all the royalties.'

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

'To be or not to be . . . contingent on royal funding.'

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'Now that's an afro!'

'Have a nice summit conference -- don't destabilize anything.'

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

The Monarchy and the BBC

'We had a full and frank exchange of views.'

Question now is who needs an old corgi who can curtsy and walk backwards out the door.

'You can't keep blaming everything on the Mongol hordes.'

'Of course I'm worried. I heard that the legs are the first things to go.'

'It's an interesting idea, but increased literacy could lead to a free press.'

'It's impossible to say how many rings Saturn has.'

"I don't mind his p***s always being out. I do find his relentless suppression of the peasants a bit unseemly."

'I thought you could count cards.' - 'I did count them. There were 52 in each deck.'

Prince turns into a frog due to a short spell in Britain.

"Open up for the cleaning crew."

A man stranded in the desert watches a king crawl by on a red carpet