Royalty Admirers Pillows

"And to think he started in accounting."

Sedan chair has fluffy dice in it.

"If we finance your army will you promise not to attack the bank?"

'Hello, Disneyland? -- I'd like to talk to somebody about political asylum.'

'I still don't know how you got a booking here Bryan.'

'Must you have chirps with everything?'

Excuse me for staring, but we don't see a lot of royalty around here.

Best Guards.

"I'm not sure he could handle ANOTHER stag night."

Coventry Carol

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Knight Golfing

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"She wishes to range free!"

Czarcasm

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"He's a guard dog."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.