Royal Resilience Seeker Pillows

'If it weren't for all the assassination attempts, he wouldn't get ANY exercise.'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Dancing Doctor

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

Noise Pollution

"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."

Don't Take No For an Answer

"Your company folded – that doesn't mean you have to."

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

Nothing to Lose

Eva Schloss

Flower growing from a bomb.

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

Do Not Lean In

'Remember, Junior, if at first you don't succeed...come up with a good exit strategy.'

What If?

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

"Well, I admire your resilience."

"This accident will not affect my career as a football pro. Fortunately, I'm left-footed."

'I guess it's just one of those days.'

Hang in There!

Victim support

For All The Detroit Haters.

"On the bright side, ever since the layoff and my divorce it's been much easier to balance work and family."

"You've been an asset to the company, but then so has carbon paper."

Cubans are happy despite bad weather.

Trees and hurricanes

'Stocks rebounded from the downturn on news that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.'

Writer to Acquisitions Editor: 'Yes, I'm greatly influenced by others' writings ... particularly checks written by editors.'

'Thanks for not letting cancer define who you are.'

'Well, here we are at last.'

Umbrella with Flowers

'I hope we get rescued too, but I'm not looking forward to the embarrassment.'