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'How about a game of cards?'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Now that's an afro!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

"She wishes to range free!"

"He's a guard dog."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

The Unhappy King

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'