Royal Footman Gifts

Treasonable footman.

'How about a game of cards?'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

The Royal Wii

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

King Pin

Reign Man

Cat with Crown.

Beefeater

Duchess of Cambridge

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

'I hate talking to the Man in the Iron Mask -- I can't understand a word he says.'

Football Royalty

London Gin Company Limited - By Appointment to Queen Mother

King George IV

Deepening rift between royal brothers

Question now is who needs an old corgi who can curtsy and walk backwards out the door.

Although Tall Enough to Play Basketball, Had There Been such a Thing, the Emperor Charlemagne Was the Son of King Pepin the Short

'Sorry about the war, folks - I was off my meds.'

'Although we've vanquished the invaders from Paperland, we really should have allied with them for the impending attack on us by Rockland!'

'Coming up! One meal, fit for a King!'

"It's not enough that I succeed. My friends must also be drawn and quartered."

Fat footman has been told he will be dismissed if he doeas not lose weight

'Ethelred - What we're offering is the chance to consolidate all your Danegeld payments into one manageable lump sum.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

'Psssst... cop on other side of hill.'

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

Megxit

'I'm pretty sure I never said I wanted a 'Bouncy' castle.'

Not 'Time' or 'Newsweek' yet, Sire — but you made the cover of 'Dungeons and Dragons'!

"Oh no, have you heard about Prince Philip?"