Royal Family Historian T-Shirts

'it wasn't my parents' divorce that traumatized me — it was when my dad had my mom beheaded.'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

Several generations live together in Cuba

Family DNA

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

New Resident of Downing Street

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

Changes at home

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

Are your parents here? Spring play! I can't tell.

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"This family seems to multiply every year."

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

"If I have to turn this wagon around ... !"

"My Aunt Agatha – feminist, civil rights activist, philanthropist, sound engineer for 'Cheap Trick at Budokan.'"

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."