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Ann Boleyn like nothing better than to settle down with a good self help book.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Now that's an afro!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Servicemen.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Knight Golfing

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

Moses' Tablet

'Where was the TSA?'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"He's a guard dog."

'How about a game of cards?'

"It is we."

"She wishes to range free!"

Czarcasm

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'