Royal Culture Pillows

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Now that's an afro!'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"She wishes to range free!"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

TV jester.

Czarcasm

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'The Burrito King.'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

Princess Anne