Royal Court Member T-Shirts

"Go down there and make them laugh."

"Hit it. I'm hungry."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It is we."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

The Bearskin Hat Family

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

Reign Man

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

The King In The Rain.

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Friend or foe?"

My horse for a kingdom.

'Big advantage!!'

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

'Do you have an appointment?'

Catherine the Great with her daughter Nora Soso

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

Limbo Day at the Palace

'I didn't mean to jest about your dictatorial leadership style.'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

'A whoopee cushion! — I'll bet Karl Rove is behind this somewhere!'

"Son, that's a nasty looking hairy mole growing on top of your head."

"Consititutionally there's no bar to marriage. I'm C. of E."

"Not yet, wait until he faints."

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

Jester