Royal Court Member T-Shirts

"Go down there and make them laugh."

"Hit it. I'm hungry."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It is we."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

The Bearskin Hat Family

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

Reign Man

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Friend or foe?"

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

The King In The Rain.

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

My horse for a kingdom.

'Big advantage!!'

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

Catherine the Great with her daughter Nora Soso

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

Limbo Day at the Palace

'I didn't mean to jest about your dictatorial leadership style.'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

'A whoopee cushion! — I'll bet Karl Rove is behind this somewhere!'

"It's from Henry VIII, sire. He's going to be in town and wants to know where the best hook-up spots are."

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

"Your early stuff was funnier."

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

A guardsman is embarrassed when the wind reveals his bearskin hat is doubling as a 'comb over'.

Jester