Routine Realists Mugs

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

World Production.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

Clock in, Clock out.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

Blood is thicker than water. Oil is thicker yet.

"I don't want a New Year, I want a comfortable, familiar, used year."

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

"Sundays we like to walk around being insufferable about our routine."

'Even the TV dinners are a repeat.'

'I'm home from a mind-numbing day at the office, ready to watch some mind-numbing TV.'

'Yeah, I couldn't make a lousy cent for days and I don't care about it! Got me, dude?'

'The worst part is, we've never had it so good.'