Routine Jester Pillows

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'

We're looking at better ways to share our knowledge & expertise. But I'm not going to tell you what they are.'

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Welcome to the office. . . Someone will be along to remove your self esteem and install your paranoia.'

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

Slave Drivers.