Routine Appreciator Pillows

"There's the UPS truck, but that's not Justin. What's going on?! Where the #@*! is Justin?!"

It's not deja vu if you get it every day, Bob.

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

Tired Barbie

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

Couple in Grey

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

Clock in, Clock out.

"The magic's still there, but the sex is terrible."

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

Painting the Sistine Chapel. 1508. 1509. 1510. 1511. 1512. It looks great, Michelangelo, but there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you just paint it in the regular way and then mount it on the ceiling?

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

'To enable them to provide the service we require the procurement team have submitted a request for seven wands, a crystal ball and a time machine...'

'I'm still beautiful you know . . . you just have to read between the lines.'

The Ancient Tea Ceremony of Astoria

"I don't want a New Year, I want a comfortable, familiar, used year."

Nadal's bottles

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

"With Mindfulness, one may learn to sit through all distractions."

Michelangelo's David

Exit laughing

Barristers playing a joke

I think this is the episode of "Leave It to Beaver" where Wally and Eddie chain Lumpy's car to a tree. Couldn

"Sundays we like to walk around being insufferable about our routine."

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

Indian Face Painting

Hen and pig get coffee then milk from cow.