Routine Appreciator Pillows

"There's the UPS truck, but that's not Justin. What's going on?! Where the #@*! is Justin?!"

Tired Barbie

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

Couple in Grey

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

"The magic's still there, but the sex is terrible."

Clock in, Clock out.

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

'To enable them to provide the service we require the procurement team have submitted a request for seven wands, a crystal ball and a time machine...'

'I'm still beautiful you know . . . you just have to read between the lines.'

The Ancient Tea Ceremony of Astoria

"I don't want a New Year, I want a comfortable, familiar, used year."

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

Michelangelo's David

Exit laughing

"Sundays we like to walk around being insufferable about our routine."

Nadal's bottles

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

Barristers playing a joke

Indian Face Painting

"There is a man at the door who needs seventeen dollars to buy some sweet grass to burn as a spiritual cleansing agent during his prayer ceremonies."

To Do List: Wake Up/Smell the Coffee/Drink the Coffee/Now What?