Roulette Realist T-Shirts

'I don't like to take chances.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

Destination casinos...

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

"You never chase me through back yards anymore."

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"I appreciate couples therapy, but I can't stop fantasizing about group therapy."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'This is George, my divorce lawyer from a previous marriage.'

"You can't expect me to be dependable all the time!"

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"Don't wag your tail. It shows you're desperate."

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

'Dave, why did we marry?' 'You wanted part of the paper.'

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

"We really need to have our rugs vacuumed professionally one of these days."