Roswell History Gifts

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

Alien Assumption

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

Phone Mittens

"Gosh, it's hot in Roswell!"

"Hibernate sounds better than binge watch."

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Beach

Big Bird Brother

'My friend went to Roswell and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

Theory #243 on how fossils were made.

"Hi honey! How was Roswell?"

'Try not to jerk when you come to the end of the rope.'

Cleaning service on skates.

"Oh, wow....this is cool! What are you making?"

What Started the Incident at Roswell

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

GPs asked to solve rising obesity levels..."I read in the papers that I'm fat and you've got to sort it out!"

'Murdock oversleeps every day - He's always an accessory AFTER the fact.'

'When you get up at night, be careful not to fall in the fishhole.'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

George Orwell.