Root Canal Warrior Pillows

'Busy day?'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

The household cavalry

Another reason farm raised fish aren't as healthy as wild ones.

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

The West Stealing the Resources of the East.

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"I dunno...ask him."

Keystone XL

The Seahoover

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

"You have sewage between your teeth."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"His commute to work's been getting shorter."

"It's not easy being green…"

'What did you do in the great whale war, grandad....'

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

Political Science. Politicized Science. Stem Cell Research. The Morning After Pill. Global Warming. Air Quality.

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Give me all the books you have on Global warming!"

"I wish these Humans would take their rubbish home with them..!!"

'Today could well be the day...the day on which the world leaders turn to me to solve their problems...they might just leave it till tomorrow.'

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

"Don't worry, this is perfectly normal for an discussion on intersectionality."

'If you have 100,000 tonnes of CO2 waste to bury, how big will the hole be?'

As If We Had All the Answers

"I bit my tongue...but the bandages won't stick!"