Rookie Card Collector Pillows

'These are my rookie cards.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Thank you bubbles

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Santa called but you were out!

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

Card shark

Red Card - Gold Card.

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Business people buying greeting cards.

"I'm looking for a card that says 'Your Love Is Priceless' for under $5."

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

"Can't you read? Our shipment is late."

Never date a medical illustrator.

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Greeting Cards

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

'Occassional cards'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Who Typexed out the grass?

Over the Hill Birthday Cards

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'