Romantic Restaurant-goer Gifts

"I thought we should celebrate our anniversary. We've been dating 93 days as of...right now!"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'A cheeky red?'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

I love Cannelloni

"Shall I let them breathe."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Ten out of ten for effort...

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

'Your pizza will be out in a few minutes. Tony's looking for a ladder to get it off the ceiling.'

"And how would you like your steak?"

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'Physical or Social Science?'

'You're my anti-oxidant!'

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'