Romantic Realist Pillows

"Will you call me?"

Men. After shelling out for flowers, dinner and a movie, they all expect the same thing: a refund.

"I'd give him like a 4 for looks, but his Covid precautions are a solid 9."

"Look, I can't promise I'll change, but I can promise I'll pretend to change."

'Okay, I admit the photo I sent you wasn't that recent, and I'm not really a male model. But everything else is true!'

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"It's not you, Frank, it's me - I don't like you."

'Subject to contract, will you be my wife?'

'This is the era of transparency. I'm marrying you for your money.'

"We're in the tub together. But not like it used to be."

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

'I have a very supportive family.'

Generic Joe meets plain Jane. It was a match made in a place very similar to Heaven, but without the overhead.

'Let's not play hard to get. We both know it's a buyer's market.'

"O.K., but what's our exit strategy?"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

Woman reading book entitled 'Mad Love' while man is fast asleep, hugging his golf clubs.

'No Longer Welcome' mat

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'I hope you realize, Madelaine, that you're in violaton of section G, paragraph 3a, of our prenuptial agreement.'

'You're a nice guy and all that, but I'm looking for somebody more symmetrical.'

Rioters carrying sign reading 'Actually, it's more complicated than that'.

"I assure you, my sweet, I can't think of anyone I would rather have hound me into my grave than you."

'Be My Valentine'

"I can't help but think that things might have turned out differently if we had never met."

' Well..She did it to me again.'

"Our lives are so predictable." - "I knew you were going to say that."

'I'll crunch the numbers and get back to you.'

'Your divorce was so mature, balanced, rational...you want to throw that all away with a reconciliation?'

Two prisoners talking. 'Laws are a lot like women. You can't please 'em all the time.'

'I didn't realise a long-term commitment would be so...long-term.'

"Gee, Dave, a proposal to balance the budget wasn't really what I was expecting."

'...and I promise to love, honor, and take this man for granted until death do we part.'

'Love is a rose... that's all we really know about it.'