Romantic Realists Pillows

"You're really starting to bug me."

'It's a bit of a long shot, but it might just work.'

"Gee, Dave, a proposal to balance the budget wasn't really what I was expecting."

"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."

"Would you consider binding arbitration?"

"Daddy, I want to come home."

Love in the pandemic

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

"Got any gas money?"

'My husband wants to see your most expensive diamonds.'

'It was basically love at first sight. . . after background check.'

"If you'd like a separate checks I'd like separate tables."

"You DO realise I'm CGI don't you?"

'My wife says I take all the romance out of our conjugal visits.'

'Do you, John, accept a married tax allowance with Sandra ?'

'I remember when sex on the first date was shocking. Now they don't even bother with a date!'

Aging together

'Gordon is the latest in a series of unfulfilling relationships.'

'45 and never been divorced? What's wrong with him?'

"I think we should bore other people."

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

'This will be the second marriage for both of us, so give it your best shot.'

Your marriage proposal sounds good, Arnie, but I'd like to hear about the retirement plan.

"What's the saying? 'An Amazon gift card is a girl's best friend.'"

'I'm sorry, Kevin, but I don't think you're the man I want to ruin my life.'

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

"Marry me...so I may pass on my genetic package."

'Do I still love you? What a coincidence. I've often wondered the same thing myself.'

'I can hardly wait until we have our first 'knock down drag out'!'

'I wish there was a little more magic in our marriage. For a start I'd like to see him perform a vanishing act!'

'I had to break off our engagement...he wanted to get married.'

'If I was married to you, I'd divorce you.'

'I couldn't get Mr. Right, so I took Mr. What's Left...'

Marriage Broker: Get married now...pay later.

"Can you give me a little extra today, sir? - I'm getting married tomorrow."