Romantic Plot-twist Enthusiasts Gifts

"What's your novel about?"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

Two birds sharing a bowl of worms.

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'Romeo and Julietta'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Subway Thrillers

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'What do you mean, I'm not your type?'

'We're finally in - but how will we get out?'

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

"After several chapters of pushing a boulder up a hill over and over again, I think your average reader will watn to see something else happen, Mr. Sisyphus."

"It's not what you think."

Heart is sewn back together.

"Any other bright ideas, Mr. Sex-on-the-Beach?"

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

"I'm not going to lie. This looks pretty serious."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

'I know you're falling for her, but be careful. Remember: Love is blinders.'

Sulking

"You've lost what - your Mojo!"

"Better than Chekhov"

'These days,' she says, 'nothing gets a rise out of him.'

'Be my Valentine?'

Love Song of the Baby Boomer.

Shear Love.

'How much for NO stems?'

I've decided to become a mystery writer. "Dark clouds filled the horizon as two young lovers walked along the shore. As if sensing something was about to happen, seabirds cautiously circled around the couple. Suddenly and without warning, the young man reached inside his jacket and pulled out a large bag of pretzels and began to feed the birds." I'm very proud of that opening. The story has just started and it's already filled with twists and terns.

'Let's get married,Miss Jones and have 2.8 kids!'

Sure he's a zombie, but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.