Romantic Jester T-Shirts

"I can't believe you used that line to get me in here."

'I need a card that sends a very clear mixed message.'

Tom had been told always to wear a condom.

"We're sorry, we're in love with another sultan."

'I usually don't do this on the first date, but here's my username and password.'

"So, are you the boring, rich one who buys her presents. Or the poor one, who's great in bed?"

"I don't like it-that's a Valentine card!"

'Dude, trust me, we haven't got much time: We should sign up for speed dating...'

'I've always been attracted to tall women. Someone I can - you know - climb.'

'It's my latest invention...I call it 'foreplay'!'

'From one to ten how did I score?'

'If you really loved me you would make love to me during Monday night football!'

'It's the biggest ring I could afford. See it? There - in the lower right-hand corner.'

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

'You told me I should be more affectionate, so I got myself two girlfriends!'

"And she's always demanding sex!"

'I've left him, Daddy - The pervert tried to book me into a hotel with him.'

It's a lunch invitation, but he's inviting me.

Special Valentine's For Your Special Lady

'The condiments, Sir? I believe there's a machine in the toilet.'

'Will you marry us?'

'Women are so illogical! -- first she says she wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole, and then she punches me in the nose!'

"Gladys, what I'm trying to say is, let's balance our books. . . together."

Be my valentine

"I'd like to take things slow, Al, so instead of a goodnight kiss I'm going to poke you a few times with this stick."

Strip Tease

"How much would you charge to get my husband to love taking out the garbage?"

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"You turn me on..!"

"If you find it's lonely at the top. . . my number's in the book."

"Tell you what. . . I'll put you in my standby program."

"You're divorced, Lowell? Who's the lucky woman?"

"No wonder she loves you not!"

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."