Romantic Evening Designer Pillows

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"Isn't the universe wonderful?" "I thought there was supposed to be fireworks."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

In Desperate Straits.

Bedtime story.

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

O Christmas Tea

Analysis of Beauty - Plate II.

"You and I haven't had an in-house date in a long, long, long time!"

Sparklers

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Matching Outfits

'Isn't this romantic? The wine? The candlelight?'

"Maybe we should go to my place after all!"

An Evening Around the Piano

'Would you mind picking up the bill please? All my money is in fixed deposit.'

Warning Wisecracks or good-natured barbs alcohol maybe hazardous to your health,

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"One for you, one for me, and one for the gnats that will be joining us shortly."

"If I read one sentence a night, I might finish it before I die."

"Does my overdraft look big in this?"

Man in top hat at a cocktail party.

Matching Outfits

"To us … or not."

'I had a wonderful evening and I'm really sorry Ed's still looking for a parking spot.'

"Normally I'd agree that sitting in front of a roaring fire one a cold winter night was wonderful...but you don't have a fireplace, Norman."

'Well, a tenner tip isn't bad but to be honest, I'd prefer to spend a night with the lady.'

CATNIP!

There are two kinds of hair: dark hair that sheds on light clothes, and light hair that sheds on dark clothes.

"Good evening, sir. Table for two?"

"Too late. I already put the TV to bed."