Romantic Escapades Humorist Pillows

"I can tell you didn't pull last night. . .You're wearing the same lipstick as yesterday."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Tunnel of Like.

"Honk if you love me!"

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

Say it with flowers: It!

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

" A lot of it is just legal mumbo-jumbo."

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

"She just rolled over and started snoring!"

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'There's more to life than just necking all the time, Frankie!'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."