Romantic Egalitarian Gifts

"I figure it's respectable in this day and age for a girl to invite a boy over for a drink of kool-aid."

Life is for the birds.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"We'll always have Paris..."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

Dancing in pyjamas

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

Reginald Bunthorne

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

Marriage least expected to last...

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

A Zircon Is Forever

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

Unconditional Loveseat

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

'You mustn't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, Dear. It makes me feel redundant.'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

"My computer just texted me."

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."