Romantic But Realistic T-Shirts

'Will you marry me and help bear my burden?'

"Marry you? ... Well, I don't know. Can you keep me in the lifestyle to which I'm accustomed?"

You're my Mona Lisa.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Oh my God. I love it!'

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Sauvignon Bonk

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"You're such a good listener."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Venus

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Why we need poetry. . .

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'More bubbles!'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"...and your ears! They're like silk purses!"

"We'll always have Paris..."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

Love Conquers All

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage