Realistic Romantic T-Shirts

'Instead of going through a wedding, marriage and divorce, let me just give you the keys to my house.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Venus

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"You're such a good listener."

Sauvignon Bonk

"I gotta be me!"

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"We'll always have Paris..."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"You owe me five bucks."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Mr. Right!"

'More bubbles!'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Diamond outfits

'What the..? She IS a stick!'

"...until death do you a favor."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

Love linked

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Now there's a relationship that's working!"

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Love Conquers All

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

Paint pots in love