Romance Observer Mugs

Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the WORST. Why not ask Randy? Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming.

'Where do I go to forget about men?'

'Frankly, don't bother fighting over me: I don't fancy either of you...'

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

Love Birds love just being together

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

Love and temptation go hand in hand...

Unmanned drones.

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

Single men in Tahiti

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

"I thought dry ice would enhance the mood."

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Lulu's Dating Service: Special! Adult summer camp...Dining, dancing & long walks on the beach.

"You're grinding your teeth again."

'When I married him, I didn't expect the full frontal crudity!'

Man asking lady if she cares for him

'I think he's beginning to notice girls.He's washed his face without being asked to!'

"Believe me, Alice, you didn't miss a thing. It wasn't even a party—it was a positioning event."

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

'Was it good for you, babe?'

"I've been to all his weddings."

'Now that's an afro!'

"See anything you fancy?"

'Yes, I need to move: I'm starting to have a reputation on the bachelor scene here...'

The Monarchy and the BBC

Sex shop

"your dad doesn't trust me does he?"

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

Tunnel of Like.

'It will never work - there's too much difference in our metamorphosis.'