Role-reversal Ponderer Pillows

A pet fish in a fishbowl thinks about keeping his owner in a fishbowl.

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"Shift’s over, Ed. I’ll take it from here."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

"How long has he been missing?"

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

Human meat.

'Wow, that was unforgettable.'-'What was?'

"Gotta cut back on my binge thinking."

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"Have you seen my wife?"

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

"I'm giving love one more try."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Man walking dog with a cone crosses path with a dog walking a man with a cone.

"In a Universe Light Years Away...Almost, son, but remember you have to light up all the people for your wish to come true."