Role Model Ponderer T-Shirts

"You cast a heavy shadow on your son."

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'I made my own list of My World's 100 Most Powerful Women!'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Statue of Female Executive

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"Gracie, Frida Kahlo was a controversial figure... She was a strong independent woman...but she also had the courage to be different and unique."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

Caption Contest TK

"My name is Jose Hernandez, and my story begins when my parents moved from Mexico to the United States to work the fields. I would find my own special calling."

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

"I love it, the chief loves it, the client loves it, but the gods don't love it."

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

"I don't want to be a king like Dad - I want to be a pirate like Grandpa!"

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'I imagine you were pretty nervous addressing an army of experts.'

"I utilize the best from Freud, the best from Jung and the best from my uncle Marty, a very smart fellow."