Rodent Romancer T-Shirts

'My dad is away, so we can play...'

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Hazards of mouse painting

'As a young rat, I traveled the world as a stowaway on a merchant navy ship...'

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

Absolutely not! There's still a huge pile of sawdust on your plate and you haven't even touched your twigs yet... Until you do, there'll be no popsicle sticks for you, Lionel.

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

'Cliff! Cliff!.. Where are you Cliff?'

"Of course—first nice day and everybody's out."

"Would you like to come in and see my cave drawings?"

"What's confusing is exactly how we're supposed to have sex."

"I really like smart women."

Hamster IV

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

Mouse policeman eats cheese from victim's trap.

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

"Yes, you're squirrelly."

"....And when we retire at night, she suddenly develops a critical head dysfunction!"

Tunnel of Vole.

Acme Pest Control

'I object, your Honor! How much wood would woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood is purely conjecture!'

'... and power surges and outages don't affect this baby one bit.'

"I think we have mice in the walls."

Cat being guarded by security mice.

"You know, if I come into your place, I might never leave."

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

Mouse hole with a lift

'Crank it up, dude! I wanna see smoke comin' out of this thing.'

Snake Maze

A beaver with his false teeth in a glass.