Rock Band Detective T-Shirts

"Greatest Band?"

A boy acting suspiciously

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

The EP-21 spy plane.

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"Honey, check it out — giant porcupine tracks."

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

Children playing percussion instruments.

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

'I can't do it anymore. 54 months of analysis and we're still no closer to explaining why Christian Bale's Batman talk in that awful voice.'

"If he has any talent whatsoever, I'll be rich!"

"Your wish has been granted – now there really is a nineties movie called Shazaam starring Sinbad as the genie."

The Police Artist.

"How can we tell if this old movie poster is valuable?"

"It was just humming right along - then began whistling."

Spyware is easy to see, if you know where to look.

'I became an astronaut for the sex, and now you tell me it's forbidden!'

"Where'd you find it, dad?"

'I don't know how Beyonce could do a secret album in this day and age.'

Violin Pipe

"Coming up on the news at ten: the new strange-but-true candy bar diet...names of the pets of your favorite YouTubers...plus some stuff about the world."

Peeping Drone

"Oh, hell, Artie. Not another farewell tour."

"Something's wrong with my computer so I'm using Bill's. What is incognito mode?"

'It's a tweet from heaven. They say if we don't stop watching them, they're going to tell God.'

"The Smiths? You want next door, pal."

"I've always been partial to the Goo Goo Dolls."

'You suck at identifying sounds!'

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

Computer screen registers alert for illegal entry as cops drag the computer operator to jail.