Robotic Raconteur T-Shirts

In their secret campaign to enslave humanity, the machines make their first big misstep with Artificial Sincerity.

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Non Thought For The Day.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

'I got caught in a blogstorm.'

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'As a young rat, I traveled the world as a stowaway on a merchant navy ship...'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

Beware of the Blog.

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

"I'll need a three iron."

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

Social butterfly

How Platypuses Are Born

Food Blog

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

According to your blog, there have been some pretty amazing things going on in your life lately, Lance. I can make my blog either accurate or interesting ... I can't make it both.

'I can't do that project --- tweeting is taking up my life.'

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

Robot asking for money in bar code language.

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

Brenda always had Safe sex

'I object, your Honor! How much wood would woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood is purely conjecture!'

'It's a cheeky little wine!'

"And this is where I met your mum."