Roadway Comedians Prints

'Motorway services, Full English Breakfast only �350.99p

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Toothbrush Romance

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"Your accomplishments speak for themselves. Unfortunately for you, I'm completely fluent in exaggeration."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Lion Choir.

"And I suppose my greatest feature is that I don't mind kissing a little booty to get ahead!"

Comedy Rule

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

Getting employees involved in decision making can help give them a sense of ownership. Sometimes, a little too much.

'Tell me about yourself. If I stay awake, you've got the job.'

'Well, my company can offer the best prices because we've got the lowest personnel expenses!'