Risk Management Pillows

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Risk Management - ''Be careful' All you can tell me is 'be careful''

Customer Satisfaction.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

I need someone who'll ask the tough questions, no matter how risky.

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'We're looking for someone who's comfortable taking risks.'

'We advise all of our clients not to hire the most brilliant managers. Risk varies inversely with knowledge, otherwise there would be many more wealthy university professors.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

Life is about MANAGING risk, not not taking any.

'You're right; there's a frozen pea on the floor. I'll cordon off the area, sound the store alarm and call in the disposal experts.'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

"And now let's practice risk management!"

'Have I got this poster straight?'

'On the contrary, I think this is the BEST time to talk about life insurance.'

'The risk management consultant submitted his report. Basically, he suggests that we adopt a policy of risk aversion.'

"We have no funding for disasters that have not yet happened..."

'I'm afraid you're not working out as our risk manager.'

"Please welcome the newest member of our risk management team . . ."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Uh oh! Are you sure it's wise?"

Risk management

Acme Financial Management - Risking other people's money since 1927.

'As Boss of this gang I'm in charge of Strategy; Fingers you head up Acquisitions; Tiny: Security; and Speedy: Transport. Leaving our intern Hugo, as Health & Safety Officer, to do the Risk Assessment.'

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."

Always have an Exit Strategy.

It's not that Ned is superstitious...but rather, he doesn't take unnecessary risks!

"Maybe next time you could think about reporting the risk before the accident!"

Welcome to Insuranceville

The Best Laid Plans

"You think they all look like security risks."

"Okay, guys. Don't open your chutes till I give the word."

'Folks, we're just not doing this right.'

"And would you put the heading.... 'PLEASE DON'T DO THIS...NEVER DO THIS' in capitals."

Slipping and sliding down the slope...